Updated: Aug 21, 2020
“As your audience grows, the chance of any given action triggering criticism asymptotically approaches 100%” Allen Pike.
Making changes in your life is not just doing it. It normally involves thinking, contemplating, discussing, re-thinking, planning, more contemplating, more discussing, some more re-thinking, weighing pros and cons, re-planning and finally taking action… if you are lucky to get through all the non-action to get to the action, that is!
Now, a lot of us don’t get through the thinking and talking parts to the action part because we cannot get through the resistance we will definitely have to face while discussing the changes we are trying to make. Unfortunately, most of the resistance will likely come from people who are closest to us–our family, friends, associates… They care and therefore they are likely to object for fear it would be a wrong move and for fear of change.
To many, this is probably the single most difficult part of making significant life changes. The mental battle of pursuing change is tough, which is why many just give up as it will become “just too hard”. The most heart-wrenching part of it is that the challenge will be imposed by the people who are closest to you, the ones that most care about you and the ones whose opinions matter most to you.
Let me share with you my personal experience here. I have made many drastic changes in my life and I must admit my family has never really agreed with any of my major decisions, failing to see why I had to make them when everything seemed to be well... some even go to the extent of not speaking to me because they just cannot comprehend why I would do something so “irresponsible” or “irrational”. Sounds familiar?
My advice on how to deal with this is to distance yourself from all this noise while you are working to make these big life decisions. If you have a partner that would rather you stay in that job that you hate so that you can bring in stable income for the family, you may need to re-evaluate this relationship too. Yes, if your partner does not place your personal happiness as the most important of all, then we have a problem there too.
Eventually, you will need to be able to stand up to them and let them know that you are confident of the decisions you will be making. They are objecting out of fear, worry and anxiety. Your task at hand is not only to not be affected by their objections, but to be strong enough to reassure them that everything will be alright.
To have the strength to push through this resistance is more than half the battle won. This resistance will prevail for much longer than just before you make changes. While you are in the transitory period (and all through your journey really, especially during speed bumps!), there will be people asking you about how life is going and will start questioning your decision and make you feel bad for what you have done.
You will need to be strong enough to hold your head high and defend your decisions and position, while not all the components of your new life will be in solid place at the time. This will be tough. I am writing this to prepare you for what’s ahead.
If there is only one reason why you may need a coach like me, it would be to get through this resistance without throwing in the towel. In fact, if one asks why need a career coach, the fact is what I will get you to implement are things that you would probably already know what to do anyway. It is pushing through the mental barriers that you will need help for.
Just like a personal trainer in the gym. Why pay someone to make you do a push-up? You know what a push-up is, you know what crunches are, you can very well do it on your own. If you had the mental strength and discipline to push yourself, you would. Unfortunately, not many people will be self motivated enough to push themselves through to do as much and as fast without a person on the side telling them to keep going.
Life is short and time is precious. Another day spent not maximising your potential and doing what you love while giving the most value you have to the world is a waste and shame to society and your life. Go ahead and do something about it before it is too late.
Til Next Time, Dee Dream