Happiness... that feeling that everybody is searching for and working so hard to feel... it can feel so elusive sometimes...
The key point of this post is for me to share with you that You Should Be Feeling Happy All The Time... and not only happy if you have achieved or attained or acquired something in your life! That is the definition of unconditional happiness, versus conditional happiness. Unconditional happiness is being able to feel happy regardless of what your circumstances are, whereas conditional happiness which is what many humans feel is that mindset that we can only feel truly happy when we have achieved something that we are longing for to feel more complete inside.
Conditional happiness is what a lot of parents unconsciously, subconsciously or consciously build within us, whenever they calibrate and give love/approval based on what children have achieved in school, competitions and anything in life.
So if you wonder why you are in that position in life where you just cannot seem to be fully happy and content with yourself, unless you have achieved something (a better job, a higher salary, a slimmer body, a life partner, 3 kids, more that job promotion, etc.) whatever it is that is that one thing that is seemingly missing in your life at any point in time that would make you feel more satisfied with your own self...
It is because you have been conditioned by your parents, society and media to believe that your mere existence and being is not enough to make you feel happy for yourself. This state of mind puts you in a constant feeling of angst, on one hand it may motivate you to work harder to attain what you would like to have, but on the other hand it may cause you deep feelings of unhappiness, lack of contentment and lack of inner peace in your day-to-day life and moment-to-moment happiness.
You simply cannot be present at any one moment when being in the presence of others, unless you are busy doing what you need to do to get what you feel you are missing in life. In that endless quest for finding that one missing thing that you feel you really need to make you feel more complete in your life, you end up alienating and not appreciating/cherishing the actual things that you currently have in front of you in your life.
And while you continue to chase after this one thing, in the process and journey of chasing, you may lose all other things that are good that you already had and could have grown into much better things.
A classic example of this phenomenon is people who are constantly chasing to have a higher career standing. Nothing that they have achieved is ever enough, the more they attain, the higher the salary, the larger the title, there is always more to vie for. In the never ending quest to attain more for this part of their life, they may end up not spending enough time and enery on other parts of their lives, such as loved ones, personal hobbies, health, spirituality, self care, etc.
I have met tremendously successful people in their careers who have only their careers and nothing else in their lives after work is over. No partner, no family, some who had partners had their partners leaving them because they simply were not "present" in the relationship and family. Overworking and workholism to seek higher and higher accolades at work, for personal glory most of the time, end up making these people very, very lonely at the top.
Food for thought for the day...
Hope this helps!
Love,
Dee